How I Went from Having F*cked Up Relationship with Food To Food Freedom?
I grew up in a home with a mother who was always on a diet. From a very young age, I used food to soothe. Rewarding and comforting myself with cakes and cookies coupled with unrealistic beauty standards promoted by mass media led to my eating disorders.
In 2012 I made my first real attempt to lose some weight. To my own surprise, I successfully slimmed down just by reducing my portion sizes. But guess what happened next … I ended up binge eating the whole summer. My depression got worse. My face was once again covered in cystic acne which I thought I got rid of before.
In 2013 I decided to experiment with a vegan diet which was a lifesaver. I ate in abundance high carb foods, I felt energetic and enthusiastic, my face cleared up and I effortlessly lost weight without counting calories. I was convinced that binge eating won’t be an issue for me anymore.
Unfortunately, my diet wasn’t very well-balanced and I was obsessed with exercising. This took a toll on my body. My body fat percentage was too low so my reproductive system shut down. I suffered from amenorrhea for at least 1.5 years.
I knew that hypothalamic amenorrhea has negative long-term health consequences so I decided to gain weight on purpose. Back then I was an exchange student in a foreign country on a tied budged. I allowed myself to buy cheaper, but calorie-dense foods to save some money. This wasn’t a good idea. My deprived body craved more energy. Instinct kicked in. Extreme hunger was turned on. I couldn’t stop eating. In just a couple of months, I gained around 20kg.
After graduating from the University I was too depressed and suicidal to continue my career as a neuroscientist.
I kept asking myself:
If I’m so smart, why can’t I control myself around food?
My fucked up relationship with food stopped me from being the person I always wanted to be. I was struggling with binge eating and depression for a long time. I had severe acne, I hated my body. I thought that my problem was my weight. If only I could be skinny again…
The real problem was that I didn’t have a good relationship with myself. I despised myself more than any online hater ever could. I was sick and tired of bullying myself in my mind.
In order to change my life, I needed to change my thoughts and prune away unhelpful neural pathways in my brain.
Only through acceptance and compassion, I could start changing my attitude. I’ve learned that weight loss and making peace with food are the side effects of managing your mind.
By applying the principles of self-directed neuroplasticity I deconditioned my brain from craving highly processed foods, I interrupted the habit loop of binge eating, I changed my self-talk.
By rewiring my brain, I reshaped my body without obsessing about calories or feeling deprived.
I went from hating myself, binging every single day, being frustrated with my bad habits to being at ease with food, and regaining brain space so I could fill it up with things way more valuable for me than food.
I’m here to help you be more connected to your body & mind so that you can stop obsessing about food and instead find the right approach that works for you.
I honour your values, needs, and preferences to help you achieve your goals.
If you’re ready to stop wasting your time guessing, hoping, and fruitlessly researching, apply for my coaching program.
